✩Heather Ashley Chase✩

Do you know what you want to be? To truly live is to follow your heart, to realize that you can achieve your dream and be who you were meant to be. Whether you are just starting this journey of life as a youth fresh out of grade school, or a middle age person, it is time to live your life.
During your life you have made a mistake or two, and you have to live with them.
However you CAN overcome what you have done in your past and create your future. Your new future.
The only one who is stopping you from being able to do this, is you. Maybe your family and friends, but it’s their influence that may be stopping you.

In this art and entertainment world, you must constantly change. Adapt. Re-invent.

To do that you need to know what your dream is. Did you truly want to grow up to be the night clerk at the motel, or the weekend cashier at the convenience store? If so congratulations, you do not need to read this, and so, if your plans are to get to know the ins and outs of the business, so that you can open your own franchise, that’s great. KUDOS. You’re actually doing something to benefit your future.

If not, then you need to remember what it was that you wanted to be. Write it down and realize that it is not too late to start. It’s NEVER too late to start.

You have your dream, and you want to live it. Well, to get there you need to take a few steps along the way. Nobody ever (and I do mean nobody) accomplishes their dream life by wishing, hoping. You have to work at it a little bit at a time. You have to make progress a step at a time. You simply cannot wish to be able to be the next Mister or Miss Universe and expect them to mail you your prize from the comfort of your couch; you have to get off your gluteus maximus and go work out.

So you know your dream, but how do you get there? First you must resolve a path. Then decide what steps to take to get there. To determine what those steps are you have to set goals. Sometimes you even have to put deadlines on those goals. Goals are simply stepping-stones. You set a goal to achieve something then set tasks to achieve that goal.

I have found the best way to do this is to make the goal. And work backwards from there, to the start. Seriously, trying to do it from the other direction, I would see all kinds of hurdles and annoying complications.

Whenever you are setting a goal or two, you sometime find that your path has been blocked.
Sometimes it’s a boyfriend, a mother inlaw whispering in your ear, hinting over Holiday dinner’s that MAYBE you should get a REAL job at a place down the road for minimum wage. (Seriously- this has happened to me MORE than once).
Always research several alternative ways to reach your goal. Several.

You should do this just in case the most obvious path comes out short of the end.

Let us say that the university you wanted to attend won’t accept you so you are crushed and your dream of becoming a nuclear scientist begins to fade. So who says you had to go there?
There is always a Back Door way to get in.
One of my favorite buds in the world (A drummer for a serious rock band) told me, “Heather, I always went in the back way, when they closed the door in my face, I went to the window, when they slammed the window shut, I found a screen door in the back to break through. I never accepted the word NO. Who were THEY to tell me no. Ask enough times, and you’ll get a yes. The averages are with you”.

Maybe you can go to an alternate university, and the end will be the same. When you are a nuclear scientist, do they quote you and say you’re a Harvard nuclear scientist or a University of Florida nuclear scientist? No-they simply say you are a nuclear scientist.

Be prepared to change and adapt. Have a few plans ready to go. Even a loose idea of a plan is better than nothing. If plan “A” does not work have a plan “B” ready to take its place.
This avoids that trapped feeling you get when you realize that the goal that you were after has been taken out of your reach.

This is similar to the way people plan a road trip. You look at the map and see the different possibilities to get from point A to point B. Say there is a blizzard or construction, or it is simply blocked; you merely back track a bit and resume your journey from another direction. Sometimes plan B is more enjoyable and more appropriate for the journey than your first choice.

Systematically re-check and as needed redefine your goals. It’s not worth the wasted time to struggle to meet a goal that no longer fits with your life. During obvious stopping spots along the way, take a day to sit back check yourself about how you are reacting to reaching this milestone. Are you happy, or relieved? Are you excited, and want more? Conversely are you scared, with slight overtones of dread or entrapment?

As you grow into your new self some nervousness is to be expected. As you reach out in a totally new direction in your life, it is only fair to expect that not all feelings you have will be super positive. There is some mourning to go through for the loss of your old life, and growing pains in your new life.

Take need to time to just have fun, to balance your priorities. To love, laugh, cry, and otherwise allow yourself to be a normal person. However, take an occasional planned time out to make sure that you aren’t ignoring obvious Warnings.

If your subconscious is screaming, “Run away! Run away!” then pay attention. These warnings usually happen for good reasons. For example, wedding jitters are perfectly normal.

While ignoring abusive behavior, negitive people in your life that carry resentment towards you and your goals, which doesn’t seem to be declining (despite promises to the contrary for changing their behavior and feelings), is not normal.
If there are warnings take heed, lose the relationship, and go to plan B, or if need be, change your goal. Make sure that the goal is your goal, and not what someone else says is your goal, or what they want you to do.

It’s your life. Buck up and take the chance of being ‘Alone’. There are plenty of better fish in the sea and one who will support your dreams and goals. NEVER settle because of loneliness. In the end, after all the drama and them calling the cops on you, for no other reason than to create a ‘problem report’ in your historic time line in life and career?

As you accomplish a goal and see yourself a little bit closer to your dream, re-asses. Is the next step logical or was it made without enough information. Do you really need to accomplish that next goal or is there a different goal to set and achieve? Change as needed.

Do you really need to take widget basket weaving 101 to become a nuclear scientist? Do you really need to watch TV for four hours every night by your girlfriend’s side, so that she does not whine that your not paying any attention to her? Look at yourself and see what you are doing. Can you do better?
Yes, hell yes.

Every time you set a goal write it down. Keep it in a journal, or a notebook. This is very important. Time moves on very fast, and a few days in skipping the things you need to do can set you back, make you resentful and frustrate you. You owe yourself KINDNESS. Give yourself a gift, and stick to your goals.

Review your writing daily to keep your mind fresh. In addition, it is very effective and exciting to put a nice dark ‘did it already’ line through your daily work check list and to write a start date when you set a goal, and a completion date when you accomplish the goal. It is a very satisfying feeling to look through your notebook and see that you are indeed completing goals, and moving towards your dream.